Love is defined as a strong feeling of affection. Love these days is not the same anymore and that’s deeply sombre and mournful. The way we think of love and how we treat is far from what the term love deserves. Because our society is becoming more corrupt overtime in terms of humanity at least, our perception of what love is and what it conveys became very disparate of what it truly represents.
Let’s get on with perhaps one of the most important factor which is media with all its movies and songs, or books with its romantic story lines, or fine poetry. They all take part with corrupting the idea of love itself. They would create false expectations of love, defining it as full time happiness and peace of mind, when the first click and first giggles and butterflies in your tummy would last on and on, telling each other how much they love one another every morning. When in fact it takes work, like any other thing in this life, like getting that job for example, once you do get the job your family throws a party, you start your first days all cheery then you face challenges, and loads of work, but the only thing that is keeping you going is the salary and the passion. Because first few weeks with your lady or man is poetry at its finest, but then there will be fights, and it takes maturity to resolve them, and times where you just cannot even stand each other, but then takes courage for one to forgive or make a move. Life always gets on the way, and that is when love and loyalty is truly demonstrated, when things are not right and you refuse to give up on one another. That is not shown in the media, that is not understood by most people.
Most husbands especially would not even try, they would just shrug off the whole romance off their marriage, for example instead of a man just sitting there in the living room asking loudly to his wife, when is the food ready, wouldn’t it be better if he stood up, went to her with a smile on his face, and decided to learn how to cook with her? Or instead of a typical man when he brings his wife to a restaurant as a fun date but then ends up just looking at his phone the whole time until food comes. Wouldn’t be better if he turned off that phone and put it down because his eyes needed to be focused on something that is far more important and precious in his life as well as more gorgeous and that Is his own wife?
To remind her how beautiful and important she is to him occasionally? There are so many other stuff that can happen which makes a relationship way more romantic simply by respecting love. By avoiding the corruption or being part of that group, you are now respecting love and its romance.
At times jealousy, even sparks, especially if a partner’s situation is better than the other. For example, health or having a wife that works in a better job professionally, which would make a man’s ‘pride’ go low, instead of being happy for her in celebration within every step of their best friend’s achievement. Because all that will make the relationship get toxic so unnecessarily…
Then there is another side of love’s corruption, which what I am mostly bothered about since my earlier point always gets understood by age and wisdom, but this one problem is one that has especially evolved these years. As Christopher Poindexter said, “The problem with love these days is that society has taught humans to stare at people with their eyes rather than their souls.” This blog has its origin in the notion of that quote. That quote is so fascinating and momentous that books can be written just attempting to fully elaborate what Christopher really meant here.
Now just to get this clear, I am not saying that ‘everyone’ on this planet earth is part of that corrupting group but rather the majority are and some of them are not even fully aware that they are part of it and this is where the society can have a big influence. Sadly, those whom are going with the corruptive flow are mostly the youngsters. The media, the downfall of humanity and our process of thinking has led us to completely disrespect the meaningful origin of what love stands for.
To further clarify my point here, let me give you an example of many. You’ve got a guys, hanging out and then they would notice a ‘beautiful’ woman walking by and they all start to stare at her parts that they believe is what making her ‘beautiful’. Now the reason why I kept quoting the word beautiful is because what we think of as beautiful is not the same as what love describes beauty.
What I am attempting to say here is that men (It can be women as well) tend to focus on the appearance and then use that for their value judgement. This is one of the paths that lead us to enter the realm of false love hood. Let’s be honest here, a huge portion of young men just care about breasts and butts, that’s it. Now I’m going to apologize from now for using any inappropriate words in that blog but that is only to allow me to further prove the point that I am trying to compose here and being able to express it in a form that is the most effective.
What happened to the whole “beauty is from the inside” huh? I guess that is starting to demolish here as our thinking is completely becoming manipulated. The majority of young men (and some women) are starting to move to this phase where the whole relationship ‘starter pack’ would start with whether the other person is hot or not. Appearance became of a much more value to the society these days that it ever was before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that appearance is something to not be considered with. However, when we start using the physical appearance as this essential requirement for a relationship to build up then this is where it creates a wide spectrum of problems.
Beauty isn’t about having a curved body or a six abs. It is about having a beautiful mind, a pure gold heart, and most importantly, a wondrous soul. This is how love would describe beauty. Sorrowfully, if you would say that to your friends, they would take it as a joke. I mean, did we reach to that level already?
Right now, If I would sit down with any group of boys around my age just for 15 minutes I would already start to hear them talking about how some of the girls they saw/know are ‘sexy’ because of their physical appearances. Thus, they would literally start to date girls just because of her looks, because of how the outside beauty managed to fool the eyes of some people. There is simply no more respect. Even if a guy would help a girl or befriend her closely, in any way imaginable, it would be only so that they can get one step closer to their “objective” and the filth that is made of.
Damn the amount of pure hearted gentlemen and women, are quickly disappearing. I think the best way to describe the last paragraph I just wrote is that ‘Men would do anything to get closer to a girl due to only her physical appeal rather than what is inside’. By inside I mean, the soul, the personality, the character, what makes her ‘different’ amongst the crowd is her natural beauty from within, it’s like a fingerprint, it’s unique.
A lot of break ups occur and many relationships don’t even last long for a reason. Men became so manipulated to the point that some of them would change whom they are just to impress a girl or to attract her and vice versa for some girls. They would impersonate a character to impress and they usually go for the gentleman. Ladies, if you saw a man who assisted you in any way or did to you a favour, do you think it’s because he cares about you? Or is nice to you with a ‘friendly’ intention?
I’m sorry to tell you this but that is not the case most of the time. Why? Long story short, the foundation of their deeds is to get to their objective, the objective that is wasting their time to ‘achieve’, the objective that does not even deserve its attention. Honestly, it’s getting sort of scary right now. I mean I’m not even a girl myself but I can imagine if there would be a girl that looks good on the outside how much she will be stalked by the amount of men who have no true respect for her whatsoever.
Most of their talk would be about whether it’s on private social media group or even face to face, is about how they just followed on Instagram a hot girl and how did their private chat go as well as the percentage possibility of them making out and choosing their side chicks. Oh yeah, it’s real, I wish I am joking.
Now most girls would be startled if they just read that paragraph but I wouldn’t be over exaggerating as this isn’t the worst part yet. They can go to the extent of comparison and rating of ladies’ physical looks and all that nasty talk would start to develop.
Women are far more valuable and precious to be talked about like that, or even thought of privately within someone’s mind, and more… but sadly most young men don’t care and are not being receptive to most girls’ feelings that they pour into their “prince charming”.
“A real man never hurts a woman. Be very careful when you make a woman cry. Because God counts her tears. The woman came out of man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior. But from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved.”-unknown
Where are the golden relationships where it’s built upon trust and loyalty as well as the couple accepting each other for whom they are, being comfortable with each other with pride and having fun doing so? Now most relationships are built purely upon lust and people being in love with love rather than what it originally stands for.
Pairs would be using each other, taking and taking until there is nothing between the two but immaturity and wasted time. When I refer to men and women, I mostly refer to the teenagers who will be the future generation and referring to some of the older people.
A lot of youngsters would be growing up with no sort of attachment or respect to any of their family members, which is a vital base for one to build any other foreign relations. How can one who does not have a good connection to their family build any maturely developed relationship with an outsider. That is why getting to know someone by only meeting them, is as poor as playing football to get an A in Business. Out in a date, one would look their finest and act their best, and would display all the perfectionism and manners, displaying and showcasing a basic lie. The morality is gone, because they cannot control their lusts and people would be afraid of getting married because they don’t want to “commit”.
Nowadays, it’s very difficult to find someone to identify as a husband and wife. Instead they say ‘partner’, “is this your partner?”. The young future generation couples are starting to be afraid to say husband and wife, why? Because these days, hardly anyone wants to get married and committed anymore.
However, there is still the concept of “objectification” that needs to be discussed. Most women do not want to be objectified. They may want to be attractive, but they also want to be valued for things other than just their appearance.
Objectification means that the only important thing about them is how they look, and that they don't matter as people, only as physical objects. I hardly think female politicians and actresses and so on are all too pleased when so much focus is put on their appearance rather than their actual talent or skill. Women may want to be seen as pretty, but not as objects. And a lot of the reason women seem to be so willing to be objectified is because they have been taught their whole lives that appearance is imperative, and they've grown up in a society filled with objectification, and have grown used to the idea that women's value is based on their appearance.
A lot of women are finding hard time to be themselves, they just want to be what they like to be and do what they want to do but to most, it’s not all that simple. For instance, because of the evolution of media, society and even culture, it created this calamitous environment where for women to feel “appreciated”, they must obey certain rules or perhaps fill some requirements to be accepted and to fit in the society even if those ‘rules’ causes personal discomfort to women.
The pressure is split with mostly due to men and what they superficially and impossibly expect from their partners both sexually and characteristically, to always be positive for example. And then comes the beauty, which is since day one, is mostly due to women. They like to be pretty for themselves, they like to take care of themselves and stay ‘wrinkle free’ for instance, but then too much of that, due to media and culture, has resorted to some competition between themselves. And with ladies competing against each other, men with their high pride would like it, growing their selfishness.
So, women are now in this environment where their souls are not feeling safe. They feel like they are forced into doing something that their soul doesn’t want to. A beautiful girl can’t even walk on the street for 5 minutes without having 100+ men staring at her. Also, sometimes their talents and skills are just completely ignored and instead of being praised by her impact on the world, men just focus on her beauty.
This started to happen these days (Few cases but could possible grow rapidly) and that is how we have men nowadays that promote some women just because of their appearance in the hope of getting one step closer to her in return for a date or something and just ignoring other women who perhaps worked day and night for that promotion with sweat and tears but no… most men don’t care about women as an individual but rather majority of them see them as a product. A product that is being consistently rated every now and then. Men rating women in a way that is truly offensive and unhuman really.
Media has a big impact indeed. Just to give a tiny glimpse, if a man would be searching for let’s say, the top ten movies to watch one, and sees a good-looking woman on the cover of a one of them what will he do?
That man would probably go for that movie even though the cover might not be involved whatsoever with the purpose of the movie. Again, that’s just a tiny glimpse, apply that idea to big concepts and you see just how corrupted it can be. It even became a marketing strategy where if companies want someone to perhaps use the product and talk about it, what would they do?
They will just try to get a hot woman because why not? They know it’ll increase their target audience and potential customers, it’s not like the product itself matters, right? And so, the reputation of their marketing campaign or product itself increases in a non-truthful and respectful way.
I have personally tried to convey the message to some of the guys I know to see their reaction. The result? A lot of them simply laughed, they would smirk with no humbleness. In other words, I was being mocked at simply by the cause of trying to let them distinguish between corruption and the truth…
Some also ask why I tend to defend women and “why are you on their side” and all that non-sense. First of all, there are no sides, the fact that they think there are sides is one of the triggers for corruption and just shows the immaturity and ignorance. Second, it’s not about guarding them or being on their side, it’s about justice and for them to contemplate their own damage that they have done, what I call it… the ugly truth.
A lot of men seem to get confused with the definition of equality. Immaturity can reach to the point if a girl hit me for instance then I can hit her back because ‘equality’. That’s totally rubbish and non-sense. Equality is not about having being able to do the same thing whatever a girl did to you, equality is about delivering justice.
“Women will only have true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.” – G.D Anderson
“Demand for equality for women are threats to men’s self-esteem and sense of sexual turf.” – Alice S. Rossi
True equality is not the superiority of one gender over the other but rather having an equal status of man and woman. Most people in general lack to understand equality and that is indeed one of the triggers for corruption as it results for women to feel undervalued and not to appreciate what they have done.
What also annoys me is that a lot of men just lie, lie, and lie. They be like “oh no we don’t stare at women” and pretending to be all innocent while behind the scenes they are perhaps the perfect examples of the people who follow the corruptive flow. Such fabrications and manipulations these days, trust is becoming more fake than ever. They just keep denying it if girls asked them for instance. Well one reason for that is obviously for the hope to impress and fancy their reputation and all that.
They can also insult women and end up saying ‘oh it’s just a joke’ like what on earth does that supposed to mean? What’s even more depressing is that most men who say that may not actually meant as a joke but they say so just to ‘keep up with their reputation’ in this manipulated men’s realm of objectives.
Now to be fair, it’s not all men. Women can tend to have the wrong perspective of what love is and act like it. For instance, a few women can tend to only focus on guys with a lot of money. Now that’s wrong in many ways even if that money can buy some luxurious items. Also, money comes in after a lot of effort put in and it takes time so it also teaches patience in a relationship but a few women just care about now. So, by being a ‘gold digger’, it does not show any patience. Also, some women may just focus on attention, which is already granted for all younglings either way, romance or not! that is why they have a change of fully developing themselves before love finds them at a perfect time.
In conclusion, love is not the same anymore. This blog Is nowhere near fully describing the problem we are facing with love itself. Books are written trying to clarify the situation but hopefully that blog I wrote gave a brief introduction to just how much messed up it can be.
I wasn’t even able to ‘touch’ all aspects regarding that topic such as the effects of pornography on romance, patience in a relationship, the extent of appreciation and value etc. However, If I would do all that I would end up writing a book series and honestly, I don’t own time so yeah.
What inspired me to write this blog? By personally witnessing how love and romance is corrupted in so many levels. Women being undervalued and not appreciated as well as men not taking the initiative to contemplate their own damage they have done as well as a few women to focus only on grabbing some attention and much more.
Also, from now on, if someone would ask me what’s my opinion on this topic in general I would just say to read this blog as it will speak on behalf of me. I got sick of trying to talk to some men about this as they can be ignorant, immature and childish. Then they would lie to impress, ignore to annoy and at the end they say ‘it was a joke” to impress. Thus, I decided not to waste my time on people like them as they will just carry people down to their level and it’s just not worth it. Again, not all men but sadly the number following the corruptive flow is indeed expanding.
